Dying Matters Awareness Week happens each May and is an opportunity to have conversations around death and dying with loved ones, a topic often avoided as it can be uncomfortable or even feel morbid. But we are here to help you in transforming these conversations and embracing your final send off.
We are often encouraged to write a Will, as we have previously shared in this post exploring What Happens If . . . But when it comes to funeral arrangements, many overlook the importance of expressing their preferences and then writing them down or letting someone know. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, it can be surprisingly liberating and even uplifting.
Embracing Your Final Send Off With Grace
Articulating our wishes for our funeral or memorial service can ease the burden on our loved ones during an emotional time. Taking the time to envision our lives being celebrated after we are gone, can ensure it reflects our values and passions, making it a more personal celebration.
Preparing Loved Ones
It’s difficult discussing our funeral wishes and it’s natural to try shielding our loved ones from these painful emotions. However, in doing so we may inadvertently leave them unprepared to make decisions on our behalf when the time comes. Sure, it might feel a little awkward to kick off this conversation. But once you get the ball rolling, you’ll find that it’s actually a lot easier—and potentially fun—to share your thoughts and dreams for your final send-off. Providing loved ones with clear guidance and direction means they don’t have to second-guess or speculate about what we would have wanted.
Be Specific, Be Unconventional!
It’s important to be specific about what we want for a meaningful tribute. Do we prefer a traditional funeral service, a celebration of life, or something entirely different? Should it be a solemn affair, or a joyous gathering filled with laughter and memories? Do we have any special requests, such as particular music, readings, or rituals? In addition to the ceremony itself, we should also consider the party afterwards. Is there a special place you want to hold the wake? And then there are the practical matters such as burial or cremation preferences, any specific instructions for our remains. Take a look at this link to gov.uk for further guidance.
It’s worth noting that unconventional requests are often accommodated if they have been clearly articulated. Whether it’s a themed celebration, a non-traditional venue, or a unique ritual, funeral directors and loved ones alike are generally willing to honour your wishes, provided they have been communicated in advance.
Consider Revisiting Ideas
And hey, here’s the best part: You’re not locked into your choices forever. As we grow and change, so too might our preferences for how we want to be remembered. Whilst these conversations may feel uncomfortable to start with, they don’t need to happen all at once. So why not make it a regular check-in? Grab a cup of coffee, sit down with your loved ones, and revisit the topic every now and then. You can even download and use this checklist to help with the conversation. Who knows? You might discover a new favourite song or a wild idea for a themed celebration that you just can’t wait to share.
Ultimately, expressing our desires for our funeral or memorial service is an act of love and consideration for those we leave behind. It’s a way of ensuring that our final farewell reflects who we were in life and how we want to be remembered. By having this conversation and documenting our wishes, we can make a difficult time a little bit easier for our loved ones.
By approaching this conversation with a sense of openness and adventure, you’ll not only ease the burden for your loved ones but also infuse your farewell with a sense of joy and celebration. After all, isn’t that what life’s all about? So go ahead, let your voice be heard. Your final curtain call awaits, and it’s going to be one heck of a show!
