Crafting your next chapter with purpose and passion

The sun is setting, you have a glass of wine in your hand and for the first time in a while the house is quiet! You have the empty nest as the last of your children have (finally!) left home and you are no longer responsible for them. Well at least not on a daily basis as you have been for past 20 or so years. It is a time for reflection. To feel satisfied and proud in your success, helping your children to become adults. But often, many find this is not the case.

What now?

For the first time in many years, you are no longer focused on being Jonny’s Mum or Jonny’s Dad. You are you again. You may be able to put yourself first and plan your life around what you want to do. Instead of leaving you feeling proud and satisfied it could leave you empty and worried. A large purpose in your life (raising a family) is now concluded. At least in a full-time manner. (As many of us know you will always be there when called upon, but it becomes at your children’s timeframe and not yours!)

My Mum’s example

This is exactly the situation that my mum found herself in. I had left for university and my sister graduated from university in the same month. On top of this ill health forced her to retire from her job as a community midwife. With a mortgage to pay and a husband frequently traveling the country for work, life became scary and different for Mum in just six weeks.

When I look back now it was obvious what mum needed. With her background of a large family living in a small town in Ireland. Then a career as a nurse, later becoming a community midwife. It was being with people and feeling part of a community that was essential for her. Growing up I vividly remember my embarrassment of walking round a small town and everyone, and I mean everyone, would know mum and stop for a little natter.  But this gave mum enormous satisfaction and something that she needed to continue going forward.

So, what did mum do after such a big change in her life? She joined a bridge club and a walking group. She rejoined the church choir and formed a sewing group. So much so she was as busy and fulfilled with her new activities and interests as when she was working and being mum. She had replaced the community she had lost at home (to some extent at least) and at work with a new one.

She had a new purpose where her bridge partner relied on her to turn up to play. She would collect some of the walkers who didn’t drive so they could walk with the group. More importantly, she had a community to talk with and listen to. She received all the interactions she needed and left her with a full and active new phase of her life. Once my dad retired 10 years later, he remarked that he had to join the golf club and bowls club because mum was never home!

What have I learnt from Mum?

I’ve learnt the importance of knowing what you truly value. What can provide you with purpose, as you approach the time in life where you are going to find change. You may become an empty nester. You may be looking to retire. Start to think about how life is about to change and what you will miss most from your current situation. Once you understand this, think of how you can replace this in your life. Life will not be the same and you will need something else that provides you with purpose and wellbeing.

How can you start this process

Talk with your friends and family as this can help you prepare for the next stage. Take time to think and look at how other people you know have adapted to their new circumstances. This will give you an idea of what has been successful and not so successful for other people. Start to get a feel for what you might like to do in the next phase of your life.

How can Ovation help?

This might sound simple, but in reality, it can be a long and complex process. It will take time for you to think and consider your options. And how it might link to your finances as well. This is where good financial planning can help. Working with your trusted financial planner at Ovation. We can help you put some structure around your finances. We can help you work through what you want, both financial and social, for the next phase of your life.

So, look forward and embrace the change. Ensure that you replace the lost purpose that comes with an empty nest with a new purpose, whatever that means to you. Enjoy your next adventure in life!

If you would like to talk to Ovation about this next step, you can message us directly through the website here or call us on 0117 942 4333.

Do you know someone with a child starting university this year? Forward this blog to help their family embark on this new chapter with confidence and purpose.